Spuds Like: Ephriam's Rescue

It's getting close to Christmas!  Which means that the time for buying presents is here.  I love love love buying presents for my family.  We try not to go overboard, but we definitely do try to spoil our family a bit at Christmas.

If you are looking for a great present for your family I recommend buying the DVD or Blu-ray of Ephriam's Rescue.

I purchased it for my husband's birthday, not really knowing too much about it.  We have watched it together as a family several times now and every time I see it, I am moved by the amazing story of Ephriam Hanks.  A Mormon pioneer, he was involved in the rescue of the Martin and Willey Handcart company.  Those of you who know LDS history will know that this handcart company got a bit of a late start on their way to the Salt Lake Valley, they pulled handcarts with all their remaining earthly possessions (often selling much of what they had to buy provisions for the journey).  The late start combined with an early winter proved disastrous for this poor group of pioneers.  They ran out of provisions and were essentially stranded in the snow without food and lacking the energy to keep on going.  Even so, they persisted in their exhausting journey having heard that the prophet, Brigham Young was sending people to bring provisions and assistance.  The story of the Martin and Willey Handcart company, while heart rending, is one that is sacred to Church members today.  Miracles happened in that company.

But this movie isn't so much about the disastrous situation of the handcart company as it is the story of Ephriam Hanks.  As I mentioned, he is involved in the rescue of those who were in such dire circumstances.  He demonstrates his willingness to be obedient and do whatever the Lord would ask of him.  My favorite part of the movie is when Brigham Young calls many of the men together to tell them that they need to go help the suffering handcart group.  They report when they can be ready to go- a week, a few days.  Ephriam raises his hand and says he is ready now. 

It's just a good, inspirational family friendly film and it is full of faith and goodness.  There are scenes of people suffering from frostbite and there is death so there may be some children who would be sensitive to that - that is my only caution.  I have linked the trailer below, the kind of scenes I have just described are shown on the trailer so that may help you make a decision for your family. 

Back from the Gym

Hey there, I just got home from the gym!  This morning I went to the track here at the good old BYU-I center.  It's a nice indoor track and I like exercising there.  I am on week 5 of my Cto5K (Couch to 5K).  This week is a big step up.  Day 1 in the week, you walk 5, jog 5, walk 3, jog 5, walk 3, walk 5 (the first and last 5 minutes are warm up and cool down).  That was Monday and today was Day 2 for this week which is, walk 5 (warm up), then jog 8, walk 5, jog 8 and then on to the 5 min cool down.  On Friday it will be walk 5 (warm up), then jog 20 with no walking and then a 5 min cool down - I am scared...but excited.  This does not sound impressive to people who are runners, or naturally athletic or under the age of 25.  Maybe this doesn't sound impressive to anyone...but it is a big accomplishment for me.

I remember a different life when I was an athlete.  Most of my friends don't know that I was a competitive swimmer for the majority of my young life.  Actually...I still hold records at a few swim clubs in Utah, which is kind of a fun thing.  You know, one of those things where you show your kids and they ask if that was really you or just someone who had your name.  I wonder why it is so hard for them to believe...oh yeah...I have a different life now and do not look or act like an athlete.  I remember when I was in college and I would jog.  I didn't have to slowly and gradually get myself in shape enough to run for 30 minutes...I could just do it.

But that was a different life, a different season. 

For the past several years I have had some health problems that really have prevented me from getting into a good exercise routine.  (Maybe someday I can talk about that - it might be healing...I wonder).  I would get so mad at myself that I just didn't seem to have enough will power to make it happen.  I began to think of myself as pretty much an unmotivated slob. Eventually I realized that it was not just a matter of my mental inability, but that there was something physically wrong, a few things actually.  I am in the process of trying to get better physically.  I have mentioned before that since June of 2011 I have had 2 major surgeries.  Both of these surgeries require a long recovery period and I have been told it takes at least a year to feel like you are 100% again after these procedures.  So...I am only 8 months out from the second and the fact that I have actually begun an exercise program and have been able to stick with it and not fall apart is pretty exciting for me.  I wonder if I will ever really be 100% again and honestly, I don't even know what that would be.  I am now in my late 30s and I don't even know what 100% for someone at my age and stage is!  I don't know if I will ever again feel like I have the energy to get everything done.  Maybe that is OK.  Maybe I am just in yet another season of life, but this one looks and feels better to me than the season of physical illness I have been passing through.  For now, I'm just glad that I can say that I am just home from the gym - tired, but happy.

Staying Home: Giving Up the Praise of the World

The other day  I was leafing through the latest issue of BYU Magazine, which I receive because I contribute some pittance to BYU every year.  There is section called, Alumni Achievers.  It is filled with the accomplishments of some amazing men and women who graduated at some point from BYU.  It is great and wonderful and amazing, but every time I look through that section I am drawn to the women who are featured and think, "Wow, look at what she has done with her life."  I know nothing about the featured women, only that they are accomplishing big, impressive things.  Inevitably I begin to think about what I have done with my life, what accolades I have received, who would think I have done something impressive. That particular morning I woke up after pushing the snooze button a few times, sat (not knelt) on the edge of my bed to say my morning prayer, lumbered into the spudlets rooms to get them out of bed and because I was tired I bribed them with earning a special reward if they would get ready on their own.  I then laid back down in bed to enjoy a few extra moments of repose before I got back up, got breakfast of the table, changed into my exercise gear, fed my little family breakfast, got the kids to school before the bell rang and then headed over to the indoor track to walk for 30 minutes.  I was tired by the time I was done walking and so I came home and flipped through channels for a few minutes until guilt overcame me and I went to take a shower. I leafed through the magazine at some point between leaving the couch and getting into the shower and was feeling pretty useless by the time the droplets began to remove the smell of sweat and indoor gym-ness from my body.  I thought about those amazing women and what they are accomplishing and then looked at my morning and began saw all of the failings.  I didn't get up when the alarm first rang, I didn't make the kids a hot breakfast or even their lunches today for that matter, I had wasted time with the TV, I had so much cleaning and organizing that I should have done, I complained about my day when I saw a friend at the track, I can only walk, I can't even jog yet.  The list got longer and longer and I felt worse and worse.

Then a thought entered my mind...I had done a couple of things that were good and even if everything else wasn't as perfect as it could or should have been, I was up, I was moving forward and more than anything else, I am a mother and I got my kids fed, got them to school on time, gave them kisses as they left the car and told them I would see them after school and I did.  I am there for them, I am their mom and they can count on me to be there for them, to come if they get sick or hurt or have an asthma attack and need me to talk them through it.  I have paid for them to get a hot meal for school lunch on days when the morning is crazy or they just like the sound of the school lunch.  When they get home I will help with homework, make dinner, help them practice their instruments, give them chores and follow through.

A few years ago I felt very frustrated when my kids were a few years younger and home more of the time.  I felt like I never got anything accomplished during the day.  Even if I worked hard and got the house all tidied and cleaned up, it was all ruined before my husband got home from work and I was almost always embarrassed and tried to tell him the things that I had done even if it looked like I didn't do anything all day.  One day he said, "I can see you've done a lot today, but even if you didn't get all the housework you wanted to done today, you did the most important thing all day long and that is being a mother to our children.  Even if you didn't ever do any of the household stuff and just spent your time making sure the kids were safe and happy, that is enough."  He totally blew me away!  And yes, I have an amazing husband - seriously, who says amazing things like that?  The thing is I believed him.  I believed that being a mother to my kids is the most important thing I do.  I believe it is the most important thing I will ever do.  It is why I choose to be a stay at home mom.

I am a stay at home mom to 2 kids.  I am so lucky to have any children at all (seriously, they are both miracles) and I don't feel like I should augment my family through fostering or adoption at this point.  I have 2 kids and I am going to have only 2 kids.  Nearly all of my friends have at least double that number in children and some have a lot more than that!  So, sometimes I even look at my friends and the fact that they are mothering so many more children than I am and I feel badly about how little I accomplish because I only have 2 kids.  I have even felt pressure to find some work outside of my home now that both of my spudlets are in school all day.  I think about how nice it would be to have a little extra money to add to the budget and to contribute financially to our home, but then I change my mind over and over again because I decided to stay home so that my kids would always know that I would be there when they came home from school.  I will be here when they are sick and need to come home, I will be here when the asthma flares, or the project presentation requires a mom's presence or whatever.  I am here for whatever they need.  I am here for them.

Now, please let me say that my decision to stay home is mine.  Nobody else needs to make that choice and I also recognize that there are a lot of women who don't get to make that choice.  I really feel just fine to let everybody else make their own decisions for themselves and their families and realize that everyone has needs in different areas, etc.  

This leads me back to that magazine.  I will never appear in the Alumni Achievers section of my Alumni magazine.  I will never look impressive because of career accomplishments nor will I ever look impressive in terms of mothering feats. I will not win a Mother of the Year award or be someone that others look at and think they should ask my advise on motherhood because I just don't have enough kids to qualify me to be an expert.  In essence, I have forfeited and given up any worldly accolades that I may have sought because of the decisions I make to focus my efforts at home and on my 2 kids.  My husband has also given up worldly praise.  He teaches as a small university in Eastern Idaho, he also wants to be home as much as possible so that he can be a part of our children's lives.  He is a musician, an amazing musician, an amazing violinist.  His schedule at the University is extremely demanding (like he usually has only about 30 minutes a day for lunch and the rest of the time he is teaching) and he feels a deep sense of commitment to his students.  So, he doesn't spend lots and lots of time out in the world making a name for himself as a performer or whatever.  We have been talking about that lately and we have both realized that what really matters is doing what is right for our family, even if it doesn't seem very important in terms of the world and looking impressive.

It is hard to give up the praise of the world.  Some days it can be a little depressing.  But I think I am realizing that at the end of my life, I want to look back and feel like I made the right choices for my husband and children and that the accolades and rewards I really want can't ever be given in this world.

Addendum:  I just want to clarify one little thing...I hope that by posting this I have not let anyone believe I am dissatisfied with my life or what I am doing with it! :)  I LOVE being a stay at home mom.  It is so wonderful and just what is right for me.  I simply wanted to express a few things that have become meaningful to me.  I think just about every conscientious person feels at some time that what they are doing is insignificant, regardless of career choice or gender.   My experience that day when I was feeling down, I think, is very much like what a lot of people often feel like.  But at the end of that day I was able to recognize that I am doing what I am doing because I DO love it and because it is eternally significant to me and sharing that with the "world" is just my way of acknowledging that fact and hopefully giving anyone else who may have experienced similar feelings the validation that it is OK for them to feel that way too.

Santa Claus Conundrum

It's Christmas time!  Yay!!!!!!  I love, love, love Christmas!!!  Yes, there is the stress of gift buying, planning, cooking, baking and generally getting everything done without forgetting something, or someone, but even though it can be stressful, I just love Christmas!!!  Around my house, Christmas is made more delightful as we anticipate the arrival of the large bearded one, yes...Santa Claus! 

One of my Facebook friends, recently said something about feeling like she is lying to her kids about Santa and asked if that is normal. There were lots of responses and I penned a lengthy reply.  But I wanted to write more.

Parents fall on both sides of the issue of, what I will call, the Santa Secret.  Some parents feel that telling your children Santa is real is deceitful and sows seeds of mistrust between parent and child.  Some parents feel it is a harmless deception, and others fall somewhere in the middle.  Let me say outright that I feel that parents should do what they feel is best for their children in this regard.  I do not judge anyone's decision on what they feel is best for their children.  I just want to share my perspective.

I was in forth grade when I learned the Santa Secret.  I was one of the few children in my class who still believed in Santa.  And I really, really believed in him.  But some of the things the children in my class were saying made sense to me.  I wasn't sure what to do.  I didn't think my parents would lie to me.  So, one day when I was alone with my mom in the car, I asked her some questions about Santa.  I asked her if she would ever lie to me.  And she said that she would not.  I asked her if Santa was real and she said yes, but I wanted to make sure.  I asked her if she or my dad were Santa.  She said no and asked me if she looked like Santa.  I asked a few other questions and finally asked the right question, "Are you and Dad the ones who bring presents on Christmas Eve?"  She said, very gently, "Yes, we are."  I felt a little twinge of sadness.  Something I had believed in so strongly wasn't really real!  I asked her if she had been lying to me.  She explained how she had never lied, but answered all of my questions honestly, even if she had not fully explained everything when she answered my questions.  But that she had waited for me to ask the right questions so that she could answer them the right way.  Then my mom talked to me a lot about the tradition of Santa and the new responsibility I had to keep the Santa Secret and why that was important.  She also talked to me about what it means to believe in Santa and how that relates to believing in the Savior.  It made me feel important.  This all happened right before Christmas and it all finally made sense.  I knew now why my parents had to spend so much time shopping at Christmas time.  I knew why they were so exhausted on Christmas morning (there were six kids in my family).  I knew why they were so anxious for us to go to bed.  It all made sense and I knew I wanted to help!  I wondered if Christmas morning would be less special for me that Christmas morning knowing what I now knew.  Amazingly, I think that Christmas was even more special for me.  I knew how much love and thought and time and effort went into each one of those special Santa presents.  My dad and mom loved giving us gifts and making Christmas special for us and I really felt quite overwhelmed.  I remember after opening my Santa presents going over quietly to give my mom and dad a hug and whisper thank you so that my younger siblings wouldn't hear. 

Fast forward a "few" years...Now I am a mom.  I have two beautiful children.  Last year Spudette was in 3rd grade.  As Christmas neared, she would come home with tales from school of how this person or that didn't believe in Santa, but that she didn't believe them.  I have tried to be very much like my own parents by answering the questions my kids ask about Santa (or any of the other magical creatures we talk about) with truth, but not full blown explanations.  One day my daughter came home from school saying that one boy in her class told her that he knew Santa wasn't real, that he caught his dad putting presents out the year before on Christmas Eve and that Dr. Spud and I were just lying her about Santa.  I asked her what she thought about that and she said that she thought he was totally wrong.  Maybe Santa didn't bring presents for him because he had been naughty but his parents just didn't want him to feel bad.  The boy was relentless over the next few weeks trying to get his classmates to understand that Santa was not real.  Spudette continued to defend Santa and to believe in him.  She wasn't really asking any questions.  I knew she was trying to hang on to Santa. And I was happy to let her do so.

At Easter time, Spud Jr. announced that he did not believe in the Easter Bunny.  I asked him what he thought.  He said he just couldn't see how a bunny would hop all over the place hiding Easter baskets.  I asked him who he thought hid his basket.  He told me he though it was his Daddy and me.  I told him he was right and asked him why he thought we did that.  He said that he thought it was because we loved him and wanted him to have a fun treat.  But he also said that he didn't think Easter was about bunnies and chocolate, but that it was about Jesus.  I was totally amazed at his maturity.  At this point, he isn't questioning Santa or the tooth fairy, but he just couldn't see how the Easter Bunny made any sense. 

Maybe the kids had talked about the Easter Bunny a little bit, but within a week Spudette began asking good questions about the Easter Bunny too.  However, for her, this began to make her question not only the Easter Bunny, but the existence of Santa Claus as well.  And she did ask the right questions. We then had one of the most precious discussions I have ever had with one of my children.  Dr. Spud and I sat with her on her bed and talked.  We explained that Saint Nicholas was a real person who had lived a long time ago.  We talked about why there was a tradition of Santa Claus that had grown up around him.  We have always tried to teach our children that Santa is a symbol of the Savior.  So, we discussed that in greater detail with her.  We told her that Santa is all about love and that when we think of Santa we think of the love of the Savior and the love that we have for each other.  We talked about how as her parents, we give her gifts from Santa because of our deep love for her.  We told her that because we believe in the Savior, Jesus Christ, we can also say we believe in Santa because of what Santa symbolizes.  She asked questions, we answered them.  During our entire conversation she smiled and beamed at us. At one point I asked her if she felt like we had been lying to her.  She said no, but that she felt so special that we loved her so much.  I like to think that she knew we had been teaching her the Santa Secret all along the way by how we talked about Santa and the true meaning of Christmas.  We talked to her about the responsibility she now had to keep the Santa Secret, just like my mom had done with me.  She said she felt important to have such a cool responsibility.  At the end of our conversation she gave each of us a big hug and told us how much she loved us.

When I wrote my response to my Facebook friend I told her, that I felt like when children are little the magic of Santa is in the fantasy of it all, but when they get a little bit older the magic is in the love.  I always loved the magic of Santa as a child, even when I knew the Santa Secret.  I still love the magic of Santa.  Do I feel like I have lied to my children about Santa?  No.  I do believe in Santa because for me Santa is another word for Savior.  Jesus brings us every good gift and makes good gifts possible.  Am I Santa, no, but I would like to think that I am trying to become like Him and I want to be one of His helpers for sure!!! 

Image from Barnesandnoble.com - click here to find the book for sale

Image from Amazon.com - click here to find the book for sale

As a side note...two of my favorite picture books about Santa are:  Santa's Favorite Story: Santa Tells the Story of the First Christmas by Hisako Aoki and The Bearer of Gifts by Kenneth Steven.  If you are looking for stories that tie Santa to Jesus, these are wonderful! 

Election Doom and Gloom, but not really

As we all know, this past Tuesday was election day here in the USA.  It seems every year political campaigns get worse and worse and meaner and meaner.  After the election we are all supposed to forget that the candidates attacked each other relentlessly and just move on and put our full support behind the winning candidates.  But people are not really like that, they can't just forget all the meanness, all the attack ads, all the unkind words and mudslinging and move on fully supporting the winner.  This is amply evidenced on Facebook.  There are lots of people who are very upset that their candidate did not win and who are even feeling like the country is doomed.  Their friends attack them because they have such bad feelings about the winner and the political rancor continues well past the election.
 
I will admit that I am personally disappointed in the results of the Presidential election.  I would have preferred to see Mitt Romney win.  I like Mitt, I like who he is and I like what I have seen him do.  He really did turn the Salt Lake Olympics around, I watched it happen and I really believe he could have done the same thing for the economy in the nation.  I was sad to see him lose.  But I do not believe President Obama is horrible.  I do not agree with him politically, but I do believe he truly wants to bring people together to achieve something good for our country.  I, like most Americans, am very worried about the fiscal cliff, the long economic recession, the problems with education and healthcare and the list goes on.  These are serious problems and it is going to take many leaders working together to find solutions and come together and find some kind of common ground to do hard things for the common good for us to get out of any of these problems.  It could be overwhelming, it could seem like it is an impossible task and it would be easy to just give up and be depressed and mad about the election, but that isn't going to help.

Gordon B. Hinckley, a past president of my Church, said, “Things work out, it isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out, don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in him, if we will pray to him, if we will live worthy of his blessings, he will hear our prayers.” 

I believe this.  I believe that in the end it will all work out.  I believe that because I know in whom I can put my trust.  And I trust that the Being who is really in charge of this earth is really in charge of making sure that everything will be right in the end.  For now, all I can do is do my best, try my hardest and hope that President Obama and senators and congressmen will do the same.  When we say, "God bless America,"  it really isn't a command, it is a request and I will continue to pray for the request to be fulfilled.  Don't worry, my friends, if you are upset about the election results, or even if you were elated by the results, everything is going to work out.  I'm not saying that everyone can just forget the campaigns or their concerns or whatever and just support people they don't like.  I can't support a leader who is doing horrible things.  But I can hope for the best, and trust God.  

Molasses Cookies - A Tasty Fall Treat :)

I know this isn't a food blog, but I just wanted to share one of my favorite recipes with anyone who might enjoy a tasty cookie, perfect for fall.

Molasses Cookies

1 1/2 C oil
1 C white sugar
1 C brown sugar
1/2 C molasses
2 eggs
1 t ground cloves
1 t ground ginger
2 t salt
4 t baking soda
4 C flour
Extra sugar for dough balls

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Combine all ingredients except for flour and extra sugar.  Beat well!  Add the flour!  Roll dough into balls.  I use a 1 Tablespoon measuring spoon and scoop out a little more than 1 Tablespoon on dough.  Then roll it into a ball.  Roll dough balls in the extra sugar and place on an ungreased cookie sheet.  If you can, use parchment paper!  Bake cookies for 5 - 7 minutes.  They are done when the tops start to crack.  I pull them out of the oven and place the cookie rack on a cooling rack for 7-10 minutes and then remove the cookies to cooling racks to finish off.

These cookies are my favorite fall cookie!  Eat with a nice tall glass of milk and you are in harvest heaven!  Enjoy!!!

Birds Welcome

My favorite thing about the fall has always been the colors.  I love the reds, browns, deep greens, oranges and yellows!  This year I can add a new thing to be excited for in the fall.  Birds!!! 

I am not a birder by any stretch of the imagination, but I love watching little birds and their interactions.  It is a calming practice for me.  Maybe it is just taking the time to sit and think of the magnificence of God's creations, I don't know, but it does my soul good.

Early in the Spring, our little Spud family made a delightful bird house.  We painted it with bright colors, mounted it on a cedar post and placed it just outside of the kitchen window.  I imagined happily doing the dishes all spring and summer and enjoying watching delightful little birds flocking to our feeder.  We bought bird seed.  No birds came.  We put some of the seed in a bowl and put it on a table to see if our bright colors were not as welcoming as we thought.  A lot of seed was spilled on the grass, on the patio, in the garden around the bird house, but...still...no birds came.  We bought different seed and filled the tray again.  No birds.  We decided there must not be enough trees in our neighborhood or something else was wrong. 

In the mean time, some of the seed that spilled sprouted and grew...sunflowers!  I decided to just let them grow since I couldn't work on that part of the garden anyway.  They were a fun addition to our garden and they surrounded the birdhouse very cheerfully and I decided that it was a fun bit of whimsy in our backyard and resigned myself to a birdless summer. 

By this time of year, I am usually working to clear out the gardens, remove the dead flowers and pull the remaining weeds so they don't get nice and comfy for the winter, but this year has been different since I have been recovering from surgery.  Things are not as I would normally like to have them.  We have left the sunflowers long past the time when I would normally get them pulled out.  I have often looked out my window and thought how badly I needed to get out and get my garden work done.  Dr. Spud and I got the veggie garden cleared and did get a few things done, but the sunflowers have been my last priority. 

What a blessing in disguise!  The dying sunflowers have brought darling little birds to my window!!!  They have been having a feast eating the seeds from the sunflowers.  I got a few blurry pictures of the birds from the window but not good enough to share, but I love this picture of the head of this medium sized sunflower picked almost clean by the cute little House Finches and American Gold Finches that have been enjoying everything but the seed in the birdhouse feeder. 

Happy Fall!!!